Lately I’ve been very busy again. Between giving phonics training on weekends and taking care of a cucu in the house! What more with my youngest, 12 year old son, growing too fast ( to my liking ).
There were many times he would say to me, “Ma you are not listening.” ” Ma you don’t understand…”
And how many times have I said to him “Wait a minute” when he called me just because I had to answer whatsapp messages and questions from my FB friends?
Whoa! Time to press the PAUSE button.
Time to get connected back to him before he says, “I’m not asking you to listen to me anymore.” “I’m not asking you to understand me anymore.” “You are too busy.”
So what did I do?
1. I put my phone or iPad down the minute he talks to me and immediately look into his eyes.
Now we are sharing more stories. Laughing at jokes together.
When he complains about how tough it is living with sisters ( he has 3 grown up sisters in the house!) who are always telling him to do this and that, I’d agree with him. I let him whine (… first ).
I let him feel safe with me. I let him feel good. I’m helping him feel calm.
I know when later I give him advice, he can take it well.
Tak percaya cuba.
2. I make a point to PLAY with him, every day ( or every other day).
Yup we cuddle and tickle one another ( He’s 12 going 13 ok. )
Allahuakbar, I felt so good! Happy! The gigglings made me feel young again too! ( Shhhh I’m 50 … ). Aaah I could feel dopamine flowing in my blood!
And I know he’s happier too.
Tak percaya cuba.
3. I now send him to school every morning. For the past year I traded places with my hubby so that I’m not rushed to prepare breakfast for him ( hubby ).
And I truly missed the du’as that my son used to make for me in the car on the way to school.
One of his du’as was ” O Allah please make my parents’ work be recognized and helpful to others…
( Ameen. Awww so sweet kan!)
Now we are doing it again. I love it.
Do encourage your small kids to make du’a for you every day. Rasa best sangat. Tak percaya cuba.
We also do hafazan in the car. Ok he does the hafazan. I can’t do it so well when driving. You know there are so many motorbikes, left and right on Jalan Gombak.
So I let him laugh at me when I stumbled or got stuck. Really STUCK.
4. I try my very best to be his good friend. And he my BFF.
( All my girl BFFs are big now. Two are married. So they have their new BFFs. )
Well it’s nice to have a boy as a BF for a change.
Alhamdulillah. I can feel we are closer to one another now. Let’s keep it that way for many many more years, if not forever. Love you AHO.